Day 10 without candy

I LOVE CANDY!
I discovered I was eating way way to much of it....I mean what good does a green smoothie do if you eat a handful(or multiple handfuls) of peanut butter M&M's, starburst jellies, rolos and junior mints afterwards. I had to draw the line somewhere. I drew it 10 days ago and stepped across the no candy line.
The detox has not been smooth sailing. I couldn't go to the Reams yesterday cause I knew the candy would jump into my cart, and I'd have to eat it to make sure it didn't feel bad. Candy does have feelings.  One minute I'm happy as a clam, the next I'm falling apart. I tell the fam that it's just the candy talking and I really don't want to give them a punch in the face.  The first few weeks of the candy detox are killers. Soon, I'll be back to my airy fairy self. Until then, remember, If I ever say 'how about a punch in the face' it's not really me, that's the candy talking.

Eye of Horus

What I am about to relate is a true story. It happened. I lived it.

Lets rewind the years a bit...Imagine high school, sophomore year, history class.
The final project which a good portion of the grade was based upon creating a poster relating to something/someone/some place in history. I've always been fascinated with Ancient Egypt, and decided that would be the topic of my poster. I worked long and hard. I spent hours researching to make my poster "some kind of wonderful". It paid off. It was a beauty! Right in the middle of the poster, I had pasted a copy of the Eye of Horus:

The Eye of Horus is believed to have healing and protective powers. I believe it really does, here's why.

My poster was finally due! I was so proud of my hard work. I went home during lunch to pick it up. On coming out of the house, a FREAK wind storm ravaged. My lovely poster was ripped from my grasp and hurdled about 30 feet into the air. I was in full panic mode. Luckily, a tree in the yard caught my poster...or should I say stabbed my poster. Once the initial horror was over, I rushed to the tree and shakily plied my poster from the knobbly branch that held my poster. The tree had pierced my poster through the middle of the Eye of Horus! The Eye PROTECTED my poster(and grade) from the evil clutches of the wind!! 

Once I got back to school, I explained to my teacher the the wind took hold of my poster, I'm not sure she believed me. In fact, I know she didn't believe me. Who would believe a student coming to a teacher in all but tears from laughing so hard only to state that the 'wind tried to eat my poster'?

Not only did a battle of good verses evil take place that day, but the Eye of Horus rang true.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to convince my teacher to let the poster stand as a symbol of the Eye in action. She made me well aware that if I left the poster the way it was, I wouldn't get a good grade. After school I patched my hardy poster. I got a decent grade, passed the class, and became a junior without a hitch. BUT I owe that all to the Eye of Horus.

Man Deo

I think there is a conspiracy to get rid of all female deodorant. The key here is just DEO. Try to find some with only deo, no anti-perspirant that doesn't come with a name like Sharp Focus, Wild Spice, Alpha, or my personal favorite name: Dynamic Pulse! What lady walks around wanting to smell like a dynamic pulse? The common theme among the names? They are all man deo.
This may gross some of you who's stomach is not made of iron but here it is....I used to get.... yellow arm pit stains(GRIMACE)...phew.  Lets face it, yellow is not the most pleasant color to adorn your pits. I tried all sorts of 'remedies' but nothing worked. I think I finally just decided they were a way of life, until the day I heard that perhaps anti-perspirant was causing the pit stains. I found a women's deo that didn't have the anti-perspirant. Tried it, and WHALL-LA! Not more pit stains...the problem now? I had what Seinfield called B.B.O. This isn't just B.O., it's BEYOND B.O. hence the term B.B.O.  The natural deo, doesn't work for me....nor really anyone(yes, accept it). I found another kind with only deo. It was a ladies adidas kind. Worked like a dream! Gone are the pits stains. Gone was the B.B.O! I was in heaven, until they decided to no longer make it. It was a sad sad day. I felt like my shoe lace had broke, my bike in the ditch and my puppy ran away.  I used that one tube of adidas deo until there was literally nothing left. Fear of the B.B.O, and pit stains turned me towards other sorts of deo....more specifically, man deo.
Yes, I wear man deo.
No, I don't get the stains or the B.B.O.
What I'm using now? Sharp Focus.
I guess I'm now an "Axe woMan"

A blond and a redhead were sitting in a car...

We like VW in our family. We have or have had a jetta, passat, golf and beetle. The beetle is the newest addition to our VW family.
Everyone has blond moments, whether or not your hair dictates otherwise. I'd like to tell you about one of Siwa's. She and I were sitting in the beetle(note the car, this is important) driving along. It was one of those rare sunny days Utah has had of late. She rolled her window down and because of the cross breeze, I rolled mine down too. What follows is the conversation:
Siwa: "Where is the button to roll down the back windows?"
Me: Staring at her with my eyebrows up in a 'you seriously asked that' manner.
Siwa: "The breeze would be better"
Me: "The back windows?"
Siwa: "Yeah..(pause)... oh wait, the back windows don't roll down"
Me: "No, they don't."

Notice the back windows....

Mother Dear,

Tradition at my house states that for mothers day, you give mom a card. Could be store bought or home made. I got one for her a year ago cause I thought it was so funny. It reads on the
outside "Mother's day is a chance for us to treat you like a Queen!"
inside "A Queen with really lazy subjects who don't listen very well."
This particular card, Poobie and I signed it. I was leaving early for church and had to get it signed, so at 7.00am(which is early for her on a Sunday), I ran to her room, woke her up and had her sign. This is what she signed...remember this is a mothers day card:

"Happy Birthday Mom! Thanks and I love you"

Oh how I love my family.